Rewriting Your Story
November has been popularly known as NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month. A bunch of people hold each other accountable and have a goal of writing 50,000 words in the month of November. It can be stressful, but fun and full of improvisation. It’s a short term writing goal to see how far you can go and what you can come up with. It’s for all sorts of writers and every stage, and I highly encourage it as just a fun creative exercise.
Even if you’re not a writer, sometimes the act of journaling or writing just for fun can help you get to know yourself better and learn new things. In fact, writing has become a really powerful therapeutic tool. You can go beyond diaries and use writing exercises that help you not only meet yourself but address your past and the story you tell yourself about yourself.
What is narrative therapy?
Narrative therapy is a way for individuals to address large problems in a way that creates some distance. Sometimes, it’s really hard to think about your problems or how they’re affecting you because you’re so close and it hurts so much. That’s okay! With a tool like narrative therapy, you can separate yourself from those problems by framing it like a narrative. Instead of feeling like you are bad and you are the problem, you can just see that you make mistakes. Those mistakes do not determine who you are. They’re just mistakes.
Here are some of the core aspects of narrative therapy from Psychology Today:
The deconstruction of problematic and dominant storylines or narratives
Breaking the narrative into smaller and more manageable chunks
Rewriting the script of the problematic and dominant storylines
Broadening your view and moving toward healthier storylines
What is true for one person may not be true for another person
Externalizing the problem because you are not your problem
A healthy narrative will also help us making meaning and see purpose
What’s an example of a narrative therapy exercise I can do on my own?
If you want to get a feel for narrative therapy and try some solo therapeutic exercise, try this writing prompt:
Take out a piece of paper, maybe play some music, and try to disconnect. Alternatively, this is something you can type out on your phone in your notes app when you have time. Do what feels right. On this paper or in this note, write down a negative belief you have about yourself. For example, if you think you’re too much and no one wants to be around you, write that down. Then, take a moment to think of all the evidence you have against that belief, even if it’s something small. An example piece of counter-evidence might be, “My coworker always gets really upset for me when I share negative experiences with her. She’s really protective of me,” or “People do text me to hang out a lot.” Fill up that paper as much as you can.
After you have written out all your evidence, look back at the negative belief you wrote. You might realize that negative belief you wrote isn’t true, and it should be rewritten. If we continue with our example above, you could rewrite your negative belief to something like this: “Maybe sometimes when it feels like I’m too much to someone, they are actually not thinking about me and it has nothing to do with me. People like me and continue to be my friend, and someone appearing to be overwhelmed by me doesn’t mean that I’m always too much and no one wants to be around me.”
As you can see in this example, you write out a story you tell yourself, write down how that story is not true, and then rewrite the story to something that is closer to the truth, kinder to yourself, and more empowering. If you try this exercise and find yourself struggling, maybe take it to your next therapy session and see what your therapist can do to help.
Let us know if you tried this writing exercise and what you think of it. Is there something you discovered about yourself? Anything you’d like to share or thoughts on how to make this exercise better? Let us know below!
Do you want to give narrative therapy a try?
Luckily, we have therapists here at the Therapeutic Studio in Franklin, TN, that offer narrative therapy as a modality. You can work with someone on your healing journey and write a new future for yourself. If you’d like to reach out to us, you can do so by clicking here. We’d love to meet you and get to know you.
