Men’s Mental Health Matters
Recent studies show it is difficult for men across the spectrum and around the world to seek out mental health when they need it the most. Why? Many cultures have expectations for men. They are supposed to be strong, successful, capable, and dominant. They are often expected not to show emotion or even privately explore those emotions. Men aren’t supposed to cry. Men aren’t supposed to be depressed or anxious. But men do experience these things, and we need to talk about it.
Popular internet personalities such as Andrew Tate and Nick Fuentes often preach that men are dominant over women in all circumstances, and they make fun of “female” things like emotion, depression, anxiety, etc. They are teaching young men to suppress their feelings and use force or violence to get through life and navigate relationships. Because we don’t talk enough about men’s mental health, this type of rhetoric has a foothold in popular culture. We can see those negative effects as men commit more violence against others and try to convince people over podcasts and YouTube that men are superior “macho” rulers that everyone should bow down to.
Now, this is one negative corner of the internet bleeding out into our society, but mental health providers and advocates can be a buffer for this type of content and show men good examples of masculinity, strength, and mental well being. Here are a few things that men need to know about their health:
You deserve to cry! You can be a man and shed tears. Crying is part of being human, and there are evolutionary advantages and benefits to it, as this study points out.
Depression doesn’t make you any less of a man. Everyone struggles in life, and if you experience depressive episodes, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. Do you realize how strong you are if you go through depression and you’re still here and trying to survive? That’s huge! It takes so much strength to continue going through life when you just want to give up. You’re here, you’re reading this, and you can keep going. You can ask for help.
Asking for help doesn’t mean you aren’t capable. If your car broke down and you didn’t know how to fix it, would you be incapable or weak for going to a mechanic? Of course not. If you have an extremely bad cold and need medicine, are you somehow incompetent at life if you go to a doctor? No! Going to a therapist just means you need help with something you don’t know how to manage, and that’s okay. You go to other people for help all the time, so how is it any different for mental health issues?
Talking to your friends or partners about your mental health isn’t a bad thing! The people around you love you, and they want to know what’s going on in your head and be there to help. Trust me, your girlfriend wants to know what you’re upset about or struggling with so she doesn’t think it’s her fault. Your people care, and they want to show they care.
Vulnerability does NOT equal weakness. Being vulnerable requires so much STRENGTH!! Telling someone your deepest, darkest secrets or telling them how you feel is a huge risk. Every time we open up to someone, we are risking their reaction. More importantly, we are trusting that person. Trust takes a lot of courage. When you explore your feelings and share them with another person, you are doing something brave. Applaud yourself for that!
If you’re a man, it’s probably very likely that you were raised to bear the weight of the world on your shoulders and never ask for help. It can be hard for you to find positive examples of men expressing themselves and being vulnerable while also taking care of others and doing all the things expected of them.
This might seem kind of silly, but there is an excellent example of masculinity out there for you. The men depicted in the famous Lord of the Rings trilogy cry. They grieve. They love. Aragorn himself expresses his emotions while fighting to defeat evil in the land and save the lives of Middle Earth, including the love of his life. Frodo and Sam are so vulnerable with each other, and they have a healthy male friendship. Look to these shining examples of masculinity. And of course, if you are struggling and need help, you can always reach out to us. We would love to meet you and help you on your journey.
